Modern loneliness
Hey,
Here’s what my brother sent me couple days ago, saying that’s right up my alley (he was dead serious):
I understand that a total stranger could see me as a wanna-be-rich-quick-and-retire-at-30 type of guy.
But after all our discussions on working on things that matter and all that shit; I thought he understand my intentions on a deeper level…
Over the past 3-4 years, I found myself feeling less and less connected with my real-life surrounding because of this misalignment of values and references.
I now find it easier to be open about my ideas, goals and doubts on Twitter than IRL.
I’m sure you’ve been there before: someone completely outside of your bubble - usually an uncle who dropped out of high school - asks you what you do in life “uuhm Artificial intelligence?” 😅
That’s basically how I feel with most people I see on a day-to-day basis honestly… When people ask me what I’m doing, I just reply “oh you know… working on some projects”
This makes me feel lonely sometimes. But in a weird way cause I’m not literally lonely…
I’m sure you can relate, as a third of the population these days…
But simply saying “Millenials are 24/7 on their phone instead of going outside, socializing“ is totally missing the point IMO.
Understanding modern loneliness
I’m very fortunate when it comes to being surrounded:
our family connectedness is probably on the far right side of the bell curve,
I have a group of bros with whom I share a very similar cultural and educational background,
and yet, I feel like I’m part of the 30%.
The internet brought us something amazing: the ability to discover and get exposed to other cultures that better fit our personalities.
You could grow up in a family of Wall Street traders, but find your inspiration and education from stoic gurus - trading money and careerism values for moderation and gratitude instead.
But it comes at a price: a cultural clash.
The values you chose to identify with might be misunderstood - or worse despised - by the people you live or work with.
This incentivizes you to isolate yourself from reality to seek belongingness online.
This, I think, better explains the backbone of modern loneliness.
That’s the whole premise of the metaverse btw - a new paradigm where humans feel more connected online than IRL and don’t care about their status, appearance and belonging in the real world as much as they do in the virtual world:
NFTs > paintings
TikTok followers > high school popularity
Endnote
I find journaling to be extremely helpful when feeling dragged online to seek belongingness.
Finding your tribe online is awesome, but staying rooted in the real world is what keeps you sane.
PS: this one felt a little dramatic didn’t it 😆